Oprah audiences were recently a buzz discussing the universal truths held in the new movie "The Secret" which is defined by creator Rhonda Byrne
as the law of attraction--the principle of "like attracts like." This universal truth states that we actively create our own circumstances and situations by the choices we make in our daily life. And each of our choices are fueled by our thoughts. For more check out: http://thesecret.tv/home.html
. So how can this principle be applied to parenting...read on!Attraction Parenting
Struggle is not part of the natural order of life. One never sees a cherry tree struggle to produce blossoms when given the right environment. Why? Because the tree is simply following its' purpose--its' very essence. Fortunately, struggle does not have to be part of the parenting equation either. When we consciously
choose to harness the energy from universal truths such as the law of attraction we can quickly experience a happier, more peaceful and respectful home.What is Attraction Parenting?
The people around us, especially those closest to us (like our children), continually reflect and respond to our feelings, energy and actions. Our kids behavior mirrors what is going on within us.
If your kids currently have you in the "parenting deep end", it may be time to ask yourself, "How am I contributing to my kids behavior?"
- Are your kids simply responding to the stress you deeply feel?
- Are your children crying out for quality time with you, because you aren't giving quality time to even yourself?
- Are your kids no fun to be around because frankly, you aren't fun to be around?
We can't give, what we don't have. It is this simple.The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #1 - You are modeling for your children how to behave every moment of every day.
Children watch what we do far more than they listen to what we say. Thus, if you are yelling at them to be quiet, pushing them to do what you want them to do, and using a disrespectful tone when frustrated--you are only teaching them how to treat you. Stop! Take a breath and make a commitment
to walk your talk and model for your child what a happy and healthy human being looks like, talks like and acts like. Then watch them follow!The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #2 - You are your child's most powerful self-esteem mirror.
Your child seeks approval from you more than anyone else. To them, you are their mirror that tells them how deserving or unworthy they are. If you reflect positive feedback they will believe this, if you reflect
negative they will believe this about themselves too. Although, children can eventually overcome poor self-esteem resulting from negative parenting, overt
and even subtle put downs can prove devastating
to their sense of self worth and well being. By using the power of your words and actions to encourage, rather than discourage, you can be a beacon
of light that illuminates your child's worthiness. This powerful gift of positive mirroring can inspire your child to believe in themselves, to follow their passions and go on to live a life that is truly worth living.
Therefore, choose to reflect and mirror:
- Your child's brilliance for who
they are and who
they are becoming
; not focusing so much on what
- Your child's natural god given gifts that are unique to them.
- Your child's worth by being grateful for who they are, grateful for how they bring joy to your life and be thankful for all their contributions.The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #3 - The more you focus on the positives of your child, the more you will experience them.
Whatever you focus on expands. Thus, if you spend much of the day nagging about all the things your child isn't
doing, or all the bad things your child is
doing, you are simply attracting more of these frustrating experiences to you! Instead we can take affirmative steps to create the behaviors we want by simply noticing and being grateful for what we do
like. One of my favorite parenting gratitude techniques is what I call the "Dog Factor!" You know how dogs unconditionally show us love and affection--greeting us at the door enthusiastically whether we are gone for 2 days or 2 minutes? Well, apply this approach to your own family. Beam with love when they come home or when they enter the room.The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #4 - Discipline only teaches children to do better next time, when they feel better.
This is probably
this most challenging parenting tip for parents to swallow and accept. Discipline doesn't have to feel bad to be effective. In fact, most discipline that is based on punitive punishment, only teaches our kids to lie and not get caught next time! What you reap is what you sow. Thus, if your punishment is focused on rehashing all the bad things your child has done you are only attracting more of this bad behavior to you.
For discipline to really inspire children to want to do better next time it needs to:
1. Be respectful.
2. Focus on the solution and how to do better next time.
2. Any consequences given need to be directly related to the behavior.
By filling our home with positive, words and positive actions (even positive music) like the ones discussed above we can to begin to experience
more and more positive interactions
that warm the hearts of our entire family.