Mr. Mom: Are Dads Helping Out More?

When it comes to chores do you have a helpful dad who pitches in? According to 2005 statistics, dads are more involved than ever before...but is it happening in your home?

Polling some of the moms on my online free parenting course Mommy Moments, many say they still feel the household chores and day to day organization rests heavily on their shoulders.

So Are Dads Really Helping Out More With Household Chores and Childcare?

This past week I gave a parenting interview live on radio about dads, chores and childcare as a new statistic Canada report stated the following:

• Men are spending 2.5 hours per day on average on unpaid work/chores around the house in 2005, up from 2.1 hours in 1986.
  
  
• Fathers reported spending about an hour a day on child care in 2005; mothers reported two hours. Both numbers were up from 1986, indicating parents are spending more time with their children even though they are also working longer hours.

Although, many dads seem to be helping out more, on average moms are carrying more of the load.

Could Moms' Perfectionism Prevent Dads From Helping Out?

Fortunately, I am blessed with a very helpful husband. Yet, what I have noticed is: What might be dirty to mom, may be perfectly acceptable to dad (or to the kids).

Running out the door two weeks ago, I left the kitchen a mess. Upon returning, the dishes were magically done and everything was put away. Elves? No, my husband surprised me. What was my immediate reaction? Gratitude. But upon closer inspection I couldn't help but see all the crumbs and dirty sink that was left behind. Fortunately, I knew well enough to keep my mouth shut and thank him for all he DID do and for all the time he saved me.

Nagging, I have learned the hard way, only prevents husbands, children and even friends from wanting to help out in the future. Yet, still my perfectionism sometimes gets in the way and I sometimes sadly sabotage a very well meaning gesture.

How To Inspire Dads and Kids to Want to Help!

Here are the household rules that bring out our loved ones best that I do my best to live up to:

1. Notice what you like far more than what you don't like!

2. Show your thanks and appreciation with words and hugs.

3. Ask politely and directly rather than deman, nag or tell.

Finally, sometimes I have learned that letting the little things go like crumbs can go a long way to a peaceful home.

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Click to listen to the live interview I gave on the subject of dads helping out with chores and childcare.